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2002-10-11
well. today has been a day. last night my mum called me and invited me over to visit. yes, that's how it is with my mum. by gold engraved invitation only. anyway, so i decided to be salty and decline. not like i don't have the excuse. but whatever. i did have a good reason, my dad was throwing a dinner party and i, of course, was invited. so, anyway, as it turns out, the dinner party had to be cancelled at the last moment because my had to do mandatory overtime at work. so i call my mum up this morning from work and say, hey, i'll come over and visit. she notes that she's my second choice for weekend plans, i agree. so im to be there around 11ish. she calls be back around 2 and tells me that right after i called, my grandma called and my aunt (yes, THE aunt) called and was going to be there at the same time i was. she wanted me to know so i didn't feel set up or anything. well, i told her i would come anyway. i mean, i'm a mature, smart, soon-to-be trim young woman, i can handle it right? nah, i called her back about an hour later and told her i couldn't do it. that i would visit her some other time. and she got salty, "you know, youre going to have to see her some time." and i thought about this... why would i ever have to see that horrible woman. ((please no lectures on good people doing bad things. she sat down at the computer. she typed that letter. she printed that letter. she folded that letter. she bought the card. she put the letter in the card. she addressed the envelope with thecard and letter. she slapped a stamp on it. she took it to the mailbox. there are so many times in there were should could have stopped to think, "gee goshems, is blaming betsy for her parent's financial woes and subsequent divorce a good idea?" but she didnt, reader, she didnt.)) i would never have to see her unless i wanted to. and guess what, i dont want to. i mean, no one's getting married any time soon. no one is having any babies. no one is dying. i dont have to see her for a long long time if that is what i desire. and that is what i desire. there was no reason for that letter. she never even fucking apologized. why can't these people say, "im sorry betsy, what we did was wrong." that's all it would take. i don't like them, never really have, but i could forgive them and i could go on. but now, i know they aren't sorry. they aren't sorry at all. they can do whatever the fuck they want and when they want and i get to sit here and take it. well, im not. im not visiting my mum this weekend, because i don't want to see the people that make me feel bad. there's no point. she always makes me feel terrible. and she's a sad, lonely woman, only she doesn't know that yet. if she ever will. im the best, im serious. and i shouldnt have to deal with her making me feel like i destroyed her life. im probably the best thing she had going and she fucked it up. in other news. im up to 17 minutes at 4mph on the treadmill. ive lost the .5 pounds. so that makes 5. wtg me. i still hate salads. im going out with josh and erica tonight. im meeting josh and his new boyfriend tomorrow. sunday im going to do laundry, have dinner with my dad, and do some grocery shopping. it sounds like a very good weekend. im excited. perhaps, i might even bless you all with a weekend update. but i wouldnt count on it.
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